Some Toltec wisdom to live by

How four simple agreements allow us to create our own heaven on earth...personal freedom and joy!

The Four Agreements

A couple years ago, I was gifted with a little book called 'The Four Agreements' by Don Miguel Ruiz. For some reason, I didn't pick up the book until many months later. The moment I began reading, I could've kicked myself in the butt for not reading it sooner :). This book made it onto my Resources page, because the knowledge it imparts is truly impactful! It is an easy, short read that I highly recommend. The cover page states that it's a 'Practical Guide to Personal Freedom'...this couldn't be more true...Don Miguel teaches us four simple agreements, that if followed, will allow us to create a joyous, beautiful life...a true heaven on earth.

Don Miguel Ruiz is a Mexican author and nagual (shaman) of ancient Toltec wisdom. He comes from a family lineage of Toltec healers and shamans and has dedicated his life to guiding individuals to personal freedom through his ancient teachings.

Life is very easy to understand, but we complicate it with the beliefs and ideas that we create. - Don Miguel Ruiz

The Toltecs believed that everything in existence is a 'manifestation of one living being called God' and that the world we live in is just an illusion, 'a Dream' that doesn't allow us to see who we really are...Ruiz teaches that the real us 'is pure love, pure light!'...but there is a wall of fog or smoke created by countless misinterpretations of this pure light, and this has created the Dream of Humans. Ruiz teaches that we are born with the ability to 'learn how to dream, and the humans who lived before us, teach us how to dream the way society dreams.' As we already know, our belief systems are formed in childhood. The Toltecs call these beliefs, 'agreements'. We believe most things that the adults in our childhood taught us...we agreed with them, giving them ultimate control over this dream of our life.

Throughout our lifetime, we've made thousands of agreements with our spouses, children, families, friends, coworkers, society on a whole, but the most important agreements we've made is with ourselves! These agreements have shaped our personalities, shaped who we are, what we feel, what we believe and how we interact in this world. There are many agreements we've made that do not serve us...these negative self-limiting beliefs that hold us back, keep us trapped in this thick fog...holding us back from living in pure light. Don Miguel teaches that we must use our power to break these debilitating agreements and focus on adapting Four Agreements that give us the ability to transform our lives!

First Agreement - Be Impeccable With Your Word

'It sounds very simple, but it is very very powerful....your word is the power that you have to create. It is through the word that you manifest everything. But like a sword with two edges, your word can create the most beautiful dream, or your word can destroy everything around you. Impeccability means 'without sin'. Being impeccable with your word is the correct use of your energy; it means to use your energy in the direction of truth and love for yourself.' ~ The Four Agreements

The saying by Nazia Kaushar, 'Words once spoken cannot be taken back...so think before you speak!' and many others like it all allude to the importance of the word. Words matter...Ruiz calls them tools of magic. I've written in a previous post about the importance of the words used in communicating with our children. As parents, caregivers, teachers, adults who have a profound influence on a child's life, it is our responsibility to choose our words wisely. Negative words can take root in a child's mind and develop into a belief that stays with them for the rest of their lives! Words spoken to adults are also important. Hitler spoke words that led to the mass killing of six million Jews, while Mother Theresa used her words to leave a legacy of charity and beautiful humanitarian goodwill.

Your word has the ability to create peace, joy and love, and also oppression, sadness and hate. But, it's not only the words we speak out loud to others that matter...the words we tell ourselves are equally important! How do we speak to ourselves? Do we communicate with love, compassion and understanding, or do we belittle, criticize and torture? For many years, I was guilty of using my words against me...I fed myself negative beliefs about who I was and what I was capable of. My awareness has expanded and with it my ability to smother the negative and welcome the impeccable. This awareness allows me to truly listen to what I am saying to myself and the people around me. When we pause in that space between stimulus and response, we get to choose the words we put out into the world...words that have the potential to create and transform.

Second Agreement - Don't Take Anything Personally

'Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally. You take it personally because you agree with whatever was said. Taking things personally is the maximum expression of selfishness because we make the assumption that everything is about 'me'. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in, when we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.' ~ The Four Agreements

Eleanor Roosevelt was on point when she said 'What other people think of me is none of my business!' I'm slowly getting to a place where I'm secure in my own skin, with my own thoughts and beliefs about myself, slowly removing this basal need for acceptance. (I'm not completely there yet, but have definitely made progress from the place I was just a year ago!) I believe it's in our human nature to seek love, acceptance, admiration and praise from others. But what happens when we don't? What happens when we are met with negative, derogatory commentary directly aimed at us? How do we process that? Don Miguel teaches that, no matter how personal the insult, we must not take it personally! Never assume it's about us! Whatever the other person's opinions and actions are towards us, it comes directly from the agreements/beliefs in their own mind! Just imagine the freedom of never again taking anything personally...imagine being secure enough in your own mind, confident in your beliefs and the choices you make for yourself...choices based on your map of the world, not anyone else's!

Third Agreement - Don't Make Assumptions

'We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We make assumptions about what others are doing and thinking - we take it personally - then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why whenever we make assumptions, we're asking for problems. The way to keep from making assumptions is to Ask Questions! If we communicate in this way, our word becomes impeccable - there are no wars, no violence, no misunderstandings. All human problems would be resolved if we could just have good clear communication.' ~ The Four Agreements

Mastering just this one agreement can be life transforming! There's a quote I read online that goes 'Communicate. Even when it's uncomfortable or uneasy. One of the best ways to heal, is simply getting everything out.' Getting my words out...getting them to spill from my lips has been a struggle for most of my life. This journey has allowed me to believe in my voice and more openly let the words out. The communication breakthroughs I'm experiencing now, especially in my close love relationships have been amazing! By not having the courage to speak up, to ask questions, to express my feelings and opinions, I automatically resorted to assumptions! I assumed that my partner understood the extent of my anxiety and darkness...I assumed that he would not understand or not know how to help...I assumed too many things that only led to more confusion, more heartache, more darkness. Having the courage to step up, step out and speak...ask the questions that will get you the answers....that will get you the invaluable clarity....there are no words to express how utterly life transforming just practicing this one agreement is!

Fourth Agreement - Always Do Your Best

'There is just one more agreement, but it's the one that allows the other three to become deeply ingrained habits. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best. Under any circumstances, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes not be as good. Just do your best - in any circumstance in your life. Doing your best, you are going to live your life intensely. You are going to be productive, you are going to be good to yourself, your family, to your community, to everything.' ~ The Four Agreements

This is something we tell our children all the time...'We will be proud of you no matter what your grades are, as long as you are doing your best!' H. Jackson Brown Jr. said, 'If you're doing your best, you won't have any time to worry about failure.' Doing our best everyday requires us to be wholly present. When we are truly living in the moment...living fully in the present , we have a better chance of doing our best. If we are allowing the ghosts of our past to hold us back and fears of the future to pin us down, our best is sabotaged! Doing our best also means taking action! Saying I'm going to do better tomorrow and not taking the action steps needed do better, is not doing your best. This life, this dream that we've been gifted with has unlimited potential to be joyful, beautiful and fulfilling - and we hold the key to unlocking this heaven on earth - we can choose to break the old agreements that do not serve us and adapt news ones that pave a direct path to happiness!

xoxo

Jess

Photo by Curioso Photography on Unsplash